Life Changer

Prompt: If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

If I had received this prompt 10 years ago answering it would have been easy. Instead, I am going to answer it at the here and now whilst reflecting on that decision I made 10 years ago.

Back then I had just faced the reality of my need to transition to male. Before that, I would dress as male when I could and hoped it would be enough. It wasn’t, of course, it wasn’t. Each time I let the man out of myself it was tough to push him back in when I needed him to be hidden. I’d try purging myself of these feelings I was getting and that would push me into deep and dark depressive states. It was never going to be enough.

So all that time ago I quietly made the decision to transition and to go where that took me. Looking back the journey has been a huger rollercoaster of highs and lows as any life-changing journey is. My life has changed beyond my dreams. Did I think back then I would have had so much would have changed? I am certain I never dreamed my birth certificate would say male, but it does. I am more confident and stronger mentally, physically and emotionally. In fact, I can say it is the best thing I have done for myself.

Now to answer that question, what would I change = well, I would have done all the above at 18 and not wait in the hope he would go away. He was always who I am meant to be, and he is here to stay.

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