Sometime in Slough

I am alone in my hospital room with only my thoughts for company. The bright sunshine outside does not bring light to the sheer weight of the darkness I see. Sure, my eyes see a couple of cats playing in the long grass where the gardens meet the car park. They see the road I …

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Immortal Lust

That night when I first saw her common sense said feel nothing. She was intensely potent and I could feel her energy ripple through me. My shield of cool detachment shattered when her eyes caught mine and I felt that hunger surge through my blood. Damn in less than five minutes the inner demon had …

What Is It Like

As the group organizer for Swindon TG Group I get a fair few people asking questions about transgender and gender dysphoria. It is not easy to answer a lot of these questions on a general level as everyone is unique and their life experiences are unique to them. Being transgender is no different – our …

Going Stealth

In most of my life I choose not to hide my status as a transgender man. However, in my working life I have elected to be pretty much stealth. If the need arises I will quietly say something but at work I am Jez an everyday guy doing his job. This is not out of …

Friday Fix

The sunset is fading into the darkness of night. The streets are silent as the clubbers are clubbing and the stay-at-homes are sat in front of the latest instalment of some reality show. It is Friday night and for the first time since the previous week he feels the need to go out. With the …

Mister, Please

I know for many trans people being misgendered is a common and daily occurrence. I have been relatively lucky then, in that it is a rare thing for me to be misgendered and addressed as a woman. To be honest I was more likely to be misgendered before I started transition as I looked like …

The Operation

Taken from my incoherent rambling of a diary for Monday 28 September 2015 To be honest I don’t remember that much. It was still dark when my friend and I left for the hospital and the roads were peaceful. Just as well as we were both tired from the previous night.   On arrival I …

50 and Not Out

At the age of 25 I honestly did not think I would make another 25 years to the age of 50. Just the idea of living another lifetime as a stranger in my own body was unbearable. Last week I turned 50 and proved myself wrong. Many people dread the half century but it wasn’t …

Privy Mephistopheles

Human beings, we have dark sides; we have dark issues in our lives. To progress anywhere in life, you have to face your demons - John Noble I believe human beings are all multi-faceted. Some of those facets are good and some not so good. It certainly would be jolly and wonderful if there was …