Free to Feel

Should I be sad when thinking of all those years not knowing who I am...

Divergence

Another sign went unseen a missed chance to say

A Reflective Glance

Form: Free Verse I caught a glance in the shop window my eyes saw her and reeled away in disgust

I Walk Alone

Form: Free Verse Once more Lilith has turned me away my time for death is at her command not mine

Shadows of Light

Form: Free Verse Stepping back from the bright lights of city life releasing the chains of denial

Bloody Dysphoria

Form: Free Verse Those nights I longed for the pain yearned for it desired it

On the Road

Form: Free Verse The choice that isn’t a choice but an unchosen decision to shed the self-imposed shell

Somebody You Used to Know

Dedicated with love to my best friend, the best friend a guy can have Love you, Nella xx Form: Free Verse Sat on those old lockers where we used to chat before we grew up

It

Form: Free Verse One winter’s day they looked at me and said

Your Choice

Form: Free Verse I can’t take the power it is not mine to take yet it is my desire to possess it when you choose to give it

You Could Have Been So Beautiful

Form: Free Verse The questioning eyes as red lips ask ‘are you sure?’

Conversation

Form: Free Verse A simple kiss and words can no longer find my lips

The Empty Bucket

Form: Free Verse I don’t care anymore I don’t care what they say

The Collar

Form: Free Verse Circle of silver what do you mean

Almost Kiss

Form: Free Verse Within her embrace my hands hold her close

Within the Storm

Waking up from the wonder beyond dreams and I step out into the beautiful world the burn of sunshine on my shoulder and like the vagrant cloud crossing the blue sky I seek the gathering of the storm craving the touch of rain on my shoulder to cool the heat on my skin releasing the …

The Waiting

The virtues of patience are wearing thin when the hands of time stand still after years of waiting so long in anticipation and yet now that I know the time is near I feel it is out of reach that patience running so thin it’s almost out with the mockery of time all doubts have …

Atrophy

Within pleasure the essence of pain stirs an awakening the knowing love will hurt too much but I want you so, I endure the pain as it plunders my senses until I want so much and I can’t instead my thoughts drift to a different dimension an out of body transition so, I can fulfil …

Do You Really?

You tell me you understand but do you do you really? Do you know what it’s like to be stared at by eyes wondering ‘is that a boy or a girl?’ That!!! I am not a that I am me a person with feelings feelings that burn when they dehumanize me with that you think …

Rainbow Kisses

I want to savour the moment the moment of divine delicious deviant decadence when I know you are mine I want to caress your curves slowly just taking my time tormenting your senses with promises waiting to come and I can watch you taking the tease torn between pleasure and pain I want to kiss …

A Work in Progress

Looking into his eyes all I saw was the temptation tormenting me with the impossibility his eyes beckoning me to let go to surrender beneath the beautiful skies at the edge of worlds the worlds of men and of women joined closer than lovers yet so far apart and he still held my heart as …

Fishing in Twilight

As the setting sun charged the air the river cast its spell on me scarlet glimpses of reflections rolling past me sat on the grassy bank my eyes focussed on the tip of the carbon rod resting silently on its stand the stillness of time absorbing my mind my thoughts like the water drifting with …

Dominance

That deep part of me I share with you and only you a gift given by choice but not for free for it demands the highest love from you and from me given in honour to be held in trust for it is the soul that lives within me and grows stronger each day nurtured …

Passing Ship

I sought the moment in her eyes while denying the turmoil inside my mind my voice coaxing her forward daring her to reach oblivion all for the precious freedom locked in the glowing aftermath of sex embraced in serenity and carnal destruction yet still my soul felt alone isolated from desire rejected by love with …

Small Steps

It will get better this darkness will fade and the inner light will shine through but it takes so long with hopes dashing rebuilding and dashing again my mind shattered by torment empty reflections tormented thoughts of what will be but when, tell me when yet reflections show change happens wiry whiskers replacing gloss no …

A to the Grey

The kiss like a smile in the breeze so gentle her kiss that is mine so, enticing stealing my breath the simple act of lips touching compounds the complexity of desire the incandescent embrace of love and we are lost in the moment until I whisper ‘leave me alone now’ https://youtu.be/U9cLZsOtCe8 © JG Farmer 2018 …

Ambiguity

I feel her touch in the paradox of passion her love my completeness yet still I am broken desire and fear combine and I close my mind to drown in the molten silver of fantasy and illusion in the wild wilderness where I am free to be escaping the hate the self-loathing that is my …

Calavera

Be happy for me, love, my turn has come to dance with the souls of the dead grieve and weep if you must but please hold a little happiness in your heart as I embrace the eternal rhythm and know I won’t tango until we live again © JG Farmer 2017 Form: Free Verse

Confusion

Discretion and denial hiding self within her flesh losing unanswered wondering within the embraces of passion I wanted it to be enough like a final solution to inner pain of gender confusion - forgive me for burying my truth within words the words of intimate love the linguistic torment and cries of pleasure without resolution …

Apotheosis

Every man has a hero the rock beneath their feet and you are mine my foundation and strength throughout my younger days as my eyes watched, my mind taking notes for the time would come to remember in the uncertainty and chaos each memory my bricks of construction for a new beginning while cocooned in …

Death of Love

Once more ice dances amid the flames its coldness the only retreat from the burning passion that sears desire in confusion heart and mind out of line as fiery heat melt a heart of ice and the passion dies © JG Farmer 2017 Form: Free Verse

Abandonment

My senses are aware of everything. The coolness of the air from the open window, the involuntary shiver on your lip as we kiss and I see that erotic glimmer in your eyes before your lashes close. That glimmer that drives me to the brink of sanity night after night as it pulls my desire …

In the Beginning

Realms of fantasy lay hidden in the depths of imagination while the turbulence of reality buries them deeper the writer must dig them out word by word never in order but a jumbled mass of verbal imaginings tangled by life like wool that met the playful kitten and the mess must be sorted each word …

Wild Surrender

She is the flame that dances on my skin A searing torment igniting my lust As kissing silences, the words within Her desire draws out my instinctive need Acquiesced want given to her in trust Her fiery heat to which I must concede My love she’s taking me beyond my fear In a rush of …

Turn Off the Light

Click! Nothing but empty darkness and an overactive mind for company. In the distance a clock ticks idly passing time. The only sound in an empty house and the mind grasps it increasing the volume until each tick is a cannon shot. ˜Relax” they said then gave me a few pills to send me to …

Dreaming

As I dream of my death I see beauty on the other side of this nothing the meaningless nothing that is living and as I dream I hear sweet music calling me to feel the rhythm the rhythm of dance that was mine and I taste the bittersweet of love that was mine and is …

Angel

As she brings me to my knees glistening sparks of silver capture my eye she sharpens her blade the sacrifice has begun her desire must be met and I have nothing left but my life my Queen of darkness demands the ultimate gift with the first cut of her knife my body burns my blood …

Love Savvy

The tender touch I can’t feel as paranoia steals my breathing yet desire burns a raging flame drawing closer pushing away on the precipice of despair love me don’t touch me I seek beauty not lust there are other things we can do talk to me shared philosophy in conversation inspire my thinking in gentle …

Lost Tears

Those words of denial hurt me a shattered heart refusing to love or be loved for love meant pain without mercy never-ending unrelenting unkind unkind words unable to see they left me blind outside of darkness I didn’t exist as words pierced my soul until all I crave is silence serenity tranquility to dry the …

Atramentous Wings

Dormant, he sleeps within my heart his tranquillity is my darkness and he rests silently with one eye open he waits for love’s tender kiss to awaken his veracity and strength for love is his inky black quills of flight © JG Farmer 2017 Form: Free Verse

Awareness Awakens

As eyes closed to sleep his voice spoke in dreams echoes of daylight thoughts dismissed into subconsciousness yet in dreams he keeps telling me I am he he is me and as I awake to the newborn day the mirror reflects confusion tormented by self hate aware yet unable to reach out I am he …

Hypnosis

From that first touch before I could comprehend the pulsating movements between our hands as our fingers entwined to lead the dance without chorography without intension each step into the unknown and the rhythm grows intensifying the senses into that state of hypnosis called ecstasy a rapture that binds me to you in the chains …

Nyctophobia

Each night I wake in the same dream and I scream into the darkness I hear your footsteps following me I see your shadows haunting me I feel you On a starless night in the swarthy heat the streets are empty in the godless hours and the chase is on I sense you closing in …

NaPoMo 28: Poetic Journey

Pen and ink marks on paper clichéd rhyme and metered lines the practice of finding the voice soft and feminine end of lines gave way to a stronger rhythm the rhythm of a poet’s soul the growl of a heart tired of breaking in the silence of hush, don’t talk about it keep it inside …

NaPoMo 24: Surreal Similitude

The storm raged around me the prison of thunder and rain keeping me static never moving on as the lightning crashed inside my mind ceaseless recollections back in time repeating echoes of pain no place to turn nowhere to go no place to call home there is no escaping thoughts trapped in the mind flashing …

28 September

As summer faded into autumn glow I felt the door close on the days before When I turned my back on all that I know Released and free, a prisoner no more I watched as years simply faded away The hurt of living trapped inside of me I opened my eyes to see I can …

NaPoMo 19: Inside Outside

Outside the crimson pout is not me and my soul denies the mascaraed lashes while an imitation smile hides tears within the pseudo echo of myself a shadow with painted lips that say the right words and my spirit stays silent and broken inside Inside I hear you calling my name but it can never …

NaPoMo 15: The Sky Is Calling

Stretching sinews greet the rising sun in the east a new day dawning a new beginning on the path to destiny the soft downy feathers of youth are gone; in their place remiges and rectrices shimmer in the early light and in the contoured movement he takes flight his silhouette shadowed by the sun the …

Evening Shadows

With sighs of despair the eyes of disgust glare into the mirror reflecting the sacred temple the pagoda of femininity despised by a masculine mind fingers scratching the smooth skin longing for the roughness of early evening shadows the tormented tears cry inside never to be seen as eyes close to the pain ignoring the …

NaPoMo 7: Mists of Living

In the gathering mists of living I found a man sitting alone beneath the willow tree his eye caught mine and I felt a chill in my bones as in the darkness I knew his name we’d met before too many times but this time I didn’t turn back instead I sat beside him it’s …